


I Can Make the Bad Guys Good For A Weekend

by Gothams_Only_Wolf



Series: Lupus et vulpis [2]
Category: The Man From U.N.C.L.E. (2015)
Genre: Berlin Wall, Bonfire Trio, Boys Kissing, Canon-Typical Violence, Dirt Related Incidents, F/M, Gen, Germany, Illya is a Sweetheart, Implied Sexual Content, Kissing, M/M, Multi, OT3, Spies & Secret Agents
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-06
Updated: 2015-09-06
Packaged: 2018-04-19 07:39:31
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,366
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4738106
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Gothams_Only_Wolf/pseuds/Gothams_Only_Wolf
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Illya knows he's incredibly lucky. Gaby and Leo understand that Illya loves them dearly. </p><p>AKA Illya gets covered in dirt of various kinds and learns a few things about his lovers as well as himself</p><p>Sequel to You Bought A Star (In Hindsight)</p>
            </blockquote>





	I Can Make the Bad Guys Good For A Weekend

**Author's Note:**

> **_IMPORTANT NOTICE: I call Solo by Leo because while I do use cowboy (as an endearment from the other two) I don't think people in close relationships use each other's last names. Leo is a derivative of Napoleon._**
> 
> Apparently all I'm writing about lately are spies from different series. Natasha from Avengers for the RomanoffBigBang, the spies here and sort-of magical spies from the SAS for Pacific Rim.
> 
> To my wonderful regulars, sorry in advance. It is going to get spy-heavy for a bit. 
> 
> Words with one of these (*) will be translated on the bottom. I do welcome language help!

* * *

**-East Germany, 1969-**

**_Mission Status: Forced Rest_**

Five years into their assignment to U.N.C.L.E., they're put on _"leave."_ Waverly cites mental health but they all know it's because Illya's heart stopped for a good minute on their last mission. 

He's mostly recovered but he can't stand the U.N.C.L.E. infirmary anymore so their boss recommends they spend some time behind the Iron Curtain. Gaby gave Waverly a dirty look but the man had only murmured something about recent laws passing and that maybe they could be together unhindered. 

Illya latched onto the idea with a quiet sort of happiness. Gaby and Leo are surprised that he'll go so quietly, so close to his old work. 

"Illya, darling... Why would you want to go back?" Leo asks as he changes out Illya's bandages as Gaby watches with a mix of curiosity and reluctance. 

"Waverly is not stupid. Our five-year anniversary of us meeting is coming up." he responds carefully. "... And the laws over there allow for us to hold hands in public." 

"All three of us, you mean." Gaby's sharp mind connects the dots seconds before Leo does. "There was a rumor but I guess it passed into law. How closely have you been following that sort of news?" 

"A while now. I thought, maybe, we could have some peaceful evening walks where no one will judge overtly like they do over the wall. If I encounter KGB again... I am still listed, even if my former superior thinks otherwise." Illya informs them with a wry twist of his lips, digging through his duffel bag to pull out his other KGB badge. "They would not lose one of thier best agents for a mistake made by an American agent." 

"You sneaky Russian." Leo's tone isn't in the least surprised (more amused really) and Gaby is giggling behind her hand. 

"Illya, come sit with me." Gaby pats her bed, Illya obliging as she guides him to lay back in her lap, his shoulders wider than her hips. Her hands card through his hair while she hums some half-forgotten lullaby. He's pretty sure it's from their second mission, heard in Istanbul's market square. "You talked to Waverly about this while you were stuck in the infirmary, didn't you?" 

"I did. We have more agents now than we did when it was just the three of us. We're getting to be a proper organization, like the KGB or CIA. I know that we have had small breaks between missions but..." 

"You want time with us that isn't subject to change." Leo's expression softens at that, their cowboy coming to settle against Illya's uninjured side. 

"Da. I had a lot of time to think in there, stuck to a bed." Illya murmurs in agreement. "I want the time to explore us." 

"Get to know us better than you have in the past five years?" Gaby teases and Illya flushes at that. He knew their bodies intimately, each curve and dip, the way they moved when he sought to worship them equally. Illya knew all of their favorite foods, all of thier sweet moments stolen on mission but—"You want downtime to kiss us and not have to look over your shoulder. I understand." 

"Thank you." He murmurs and gets soft kisses pressed to his forehead, cheek and lips for his troubles. "Ah-ah, cowboy. The doctor said no for at least another week." Illya swats Leo's hand away from his hip with a delighted laugh. "I do not blame you for trying, orel*." 

"Who wouldn't have thought that you were like this?" Leo compromises and merely wraps his arm around Illya's waist, careful to avoid the bandage on his stomach as well as the one on his shoulder. "Sometimes I get jealous of our marks." 

"I still stand on the fact that I am terrible at attracting our mission targets." He counters lazily as Gaby goes back to petting him while reading the mission debriefing. 

"No, you're the best honeypot because no one thinks a spy is that awkward. You throw them every time." Gaby absently adds as she scoffs at what one of the younger agents had written. "Listen these baby agents, geliebter*. _'Agent Kuryakin scares me. He's always scowling at me when I look at Agents Solo and Teller.'_ I think that one's the recruit from MI-6." 

"I will put him through a wall if he keeps staring at you like that." Illya huffs out. He knows the brat well; the agent is constantly staring at Illya's lovers as though there is something he wants. "He wants what I have with you." 

"Is that what you think?" Gaby leans over him with a raised eyebrow. 

"Why not? You both are skilled and good at missions." Illya frowns at her. "Yes, you have made mistakes but you are excellent at what you do." 

She shakes her head and reads the rest out loud. " _'Even though he scares me half the time with walking like a cat (Addendum: Agent Kuryakin needs a bell, someone tell supply.) and his scowl, he softens with them. His shoulders unknot, his face relaxes and he looks the same but something has changed. Kuryakin's body language says more than his words ever will, I think.'_ Well?" 

"... I still do not like him." Illya murmurs. "My gut tells me he is a double-agent for MI-6; he is waiting for me to betray you or U.N.C.L.E. to the Union." 

"I'll tell Waverly before our official 'rest' begins." Gaby assures him as she slides out from under his shoulders to set aside the manila folder and curl up next to him.

* * *

**-Next Morning-**

They head out in the cool morning air for breakfast as Gaby chats away with the bakery owner. Illya reaches out carefully Leo lacing thier fingers together with a wink and a smile. Gaby steals his other hand, Illya flushing bright red on the walk to the table. The owner sets down an array of pastries and tortes and leaves with a quick word to Gaby in thicker slang that Illya can't decipher. 

"I got your favorite, Illya." she says as she pecks his still blushing cheek. 

"You did?" When Illya smiles, he doesn't notice that about half the bakery chokes on their coffee. 

**_(He never will end up understanding the reactions he gets well into his forties.)_**

"Hot chocolate with peppermint. I never did ask—Why is it your favorite?" Leo asks as he releases Illya's hand so they can eat. 

"... Gaby is chocolate and you are hotel mints." 

"Oh. _Oh._ When you kiss us, you mean." Leo murmurs quietly, all of them still nervous about displaying too much affection even with the new law in place. Not that anyone would be stupid enough to say anything... Illya finds he's an excellent deterrent to foolish men or women who think they have an idea about Gaby, Illya and Leo's relationship. 

He nods, sharing a soft smile with both of his lovers before digging into the meal. 

They trade warm glances while talking about things that aren't mission related (for once). Gaby hums at something Leo said, Illya just watching it all with tender look when Leo turns and draws him in again.

* * *

It's practically pastoral, the way they spend thier time off. Illya learns how to change a tire when thier car has a flat right before they head back to their hotel room. Gaby pulls out the crank and teaches him, Illya inexplicably getting a smear of grease on his forehead as a result. 

"I have no idea how you do it," Leo pours a bit of water on his handkerchief and gently removes the grease with a bemused chuckle. 

"Me either, so if you could tell me how I seem to end up with **some** form of dirt during our holiday that would be nice." he murmurs as he laces his fingers with Leo's free hand. 

"There's grease on your fingertips from the lug nuts." Gaby points out while stifling laughter behind her hand. "Come here." 

It's at this moment, sitting together on a grassy knoll just outside the city, that Illya realizes that his life would have been completely different had he followed orders. 

He tugs both of them close, kissing them tenderly one after the other until they pull away with kiss-bruised lips and questioning expressions. 

"Geliebter... What's wrong?" Gaby asks as she tenderly swipes away the tear that had formed at his somewhat terrible epiphany. 

"If I had listened to my former superior, I would not be here and happier than I have ever been in my entire life." He says before both Gaby and Leo press him to the knoll to shower him with soft kisses. "I... I know that maybe we can never be together, to call one another husband and wife the way everyone else does but I do not care. I love you both and I think I always will." 

It's the first time he's said it in the five years they've shared. 

Gaby's response is to cup his face and murmur, "I love you, no matter what disguise we don or what we have to do. Leo, come here and tell this one that he's always going to have someone watching his two and his ten." 

Leo squeezes thier fingers and whispers, "I love the way you move when you fight, I love how you pause to make sure neither of us is ever hurt more than a scratch and I love you. We'll have your back until the end of the line. I promise." 

Illya's heart feels warm and full for the first time in many years. He knows he is dearly loved and will work to make both of his loves happy (even if he can't prevent every gunshot wound and knife gash). 

They stand up and get wolf-whistles from a few couples passing by them on the road. Illya cocks his head to the side in confusion. 

Gaby does break out into giggles this time. 

"I have more grease on my face, don't I?"

* * *

**-Two Days Before Returning to U.N.C.L.E. HQ-**

Illya gets wide-eyed looks when he helps push a car out of the mud, his muscles straining almost as much as the engine at the front. He and Leo watch as Gaby works a board under the back wheels so they can gain leverage in the sticky mud. When the car is finally free and everyone (Gaby included) is covered in mud, they get invited for drinks at the local pub. 

"Come, come. Have a round on us." The driver inists. 

"We're dirty." Illya murmurs with a gesture at his crusted sweater. 

"Nonsense. We're all mud-covered and I promise no one will be much cleaner." The man says as he removes his cap. "You were very helpful." 

Leo, Gaby and Illya exchange looks before they shrug. 

"I think we will take you up on that offer." Leo says in German, prompting a smile from the elderly driver. 

"Excellent." The man drives slowly alongside them as they walk together, Illya and Leo curling around Gaby with soft looks at her; she tickles Illya and he yelps, running to scoop up a handful of mud to fling at Gaby. It hits Leo directly in the face as she ducks and it's suddenly on, a silly game that gets them coated completely in slick dirt.

They make it to the pub still bursting into giggles if they look at one another as they get a round of beers handed to them after they order. 

It's Gaby who spots a completely clean Waverly in the corner of the smokey pub. 

"We are still on vacation," Illya snorts as he steals some of Gaby's Radler and makes a face at Leo's darker beer. "No." 

"True." Leo hums as he shoos Gaby away from Illya's plain beer. They actually ended up ordering the favorite of the other, switching the beers after they realize that fact. 

"I'm assuming he's here for more work." Gaby murmurs as she pecks Illya on his lips before turning to Leo and doing the same. No one notices, of course, since she's that good but both of them have serene looks from her affections. "He can contact us the second we're done with _our_ time." 

"Agreed." Leo and Illya say in unison. 

"Moy lisa*, how would you like to scrub off all this mud and soak?" Illya purrs as he wraps an arm around her waist with a glance to see if it's okay with her. She leans into him, both of them wrinkling their noses at the squishing sound of still-drying mud. 

"Sounds lovely, geliebt. Mind taking me back to our hotel room?" She teases, looking up through her lashes with pools of dark cinnamon that Illya is consistently mesmerized with if he stares too long. 

"Of course." He scoops her up off of her barstool with a pleased hum in the back of his throat as Leo waits an appropriate amount of time to follow them. Leo's fingers curl into the back of Illya's muddy sweater, the touch making him stop to crowd Leo against a wall and kiss him senseless. The dazed licking of his lips earns Leo another one, Illya turning to Gaby to shower her with equal affection. 

They barely end up making it to the bathroom before Illya's prowess has them splashing water over the edge of the tub. It's a good thing they picked the _ground_ floor.

* * *

Illya curls around Leo, Gaby spooning thier dark-haired lover so that he's surrounded in body heat. Out of the three of them, Leo's the only one with temperature issues so he's usually in the middle. 

He's on the outside because of his nightmares and need to break inanimate things; Illya has learned to take long walks in dark alleys as a practical way of venting his frustration. Gaby is also on the outside because of the same reason. 

They share lazy kisses as they drift off together. 

The next morning has them packed and ready for thier next mission because thier work never really ends.

**Author's Note:**

> Comment, complain, ect. 
> 
> Translations* 
> 
> Orel - Russian; eagle
> 
> Geliebter - German; beloved (male) 
> 
> Moy lisa - Russian; my fox


End file.
